My gaming struggles

I have been struggling recently to really dig into a game to play regularly. I have been bouncing around through mostly single player games like Cyberpunk 2077 and Hades (which were both great), as well as a few retro games like Link to the Past. And the standard go-to strategy games like Stardew Valley, Civ VI, and Master of Orion. But I have not been feeling the same passion for video games I used to. Part of it is explained by the way I like to play games. The image below goes into it a little more. I recommend others go to Quantic Foundry and take the quiz, it has some fun insights.

Essentially, I like competing alongside other people and gaining skill and power within the game I’m playing. Or, playing strategy games.

Quantic Foundry summarizes my playstyle as a Skirmisher/Gardener.

Skirmisher: "Jumping Into the Fray of Battle."

Gardener: "Quiet, Relaxing Task Completion."

Two things that are somewhat at odds with each other, but they hit both sides of the coin I like when playing games. Usually separate games.

I think there are two issues happening overall. One) I do not have as much time as I used to (see: Toddler), and B) there is not a game that really fits into exactly what I want to play and grind at competitively. (League of Legends was the one I did this last with, but I stopped because Riot as a company has…issues.)

But, even with all of that, spending time in online video games, especially multiplayer competitive ones, is so much work from a social point of view, at least in the way that I like to play them.

1) I’m an introvert, and spending time collaborating with others and meeting new people online is the same thing to me as trying to do it in person. I use up all my extrovert juice at work, and do not have it in me to bring that level of energy to gaming. Especially if I want to be playing a team based game; leading and collaborating are essential to playing well, and not playing well just makes me cranky.

2) Have you seen online games? It is toxic as hell. And it is not improving at all. Why subject myself to that? I end up spending more time telling people to stop their bad behavior than actually being able to play. Calling people out on casual (and not so casual) sexism, racism, homophobia, and general douchbaggery is exhausting (says the white male who can avoid all of this when he wants…).

So…I feel like I am at a loss for how to move forward in my gaming. My preferences and desires have not really changed, but I have much more limited time, and do not want to deal with the intangibles that are outside of the game itself.